Sunday, July 13, 2008;
Anyone feel regrets in your life?
I do have...and is alot of regrets...Regrets on???
Showing temper...How to control itself temper?
Speak out? Y speak out to another party is so difficult?
Thinking of will i drag down people around me?
If i dun come into their life will it be better?
Y cant i help out people ardound who are important?
Is it my turn to repay them back? if yes, i accept it from now on.
Y i cant control when they speak things that are unpleasant to me?
Y cant i do to help everything out when they need help?
I need alot of explanation.
truly uS
3:55 PMY
Saturday, January 12, 2008;
truly uS
8:39 PMY
Wednesday, June 27, 2007;
This morning when wake up, found my both eyes was swollen, Oh My God! how am i going to work. Haiz! Still have to go. Today simply no mood to work, i find that i had too much of things for wedding and my house, home appliances have not settle yet. Today hope can at least get one of the things done. Married is something really a sweet thing, looking forward to our shooting on "2nd Aug 2007". Though we alawys because of money matter and have argument, is still a sweet things.
I miss my frens alot, i had not meet most of them v.long already. Hope most of the important matter had done. Hope i'm be able to meet them up.
truly uS
12:46 PMY
Sunday, March 11, 2007;
today bought something.......is a sofa set...that the 1st things that i bought. there are many more to buy.. got to save damn alot to do all this...Can feel that there are more responsibility....Heehee...that all for today!
truly uS
7:18 AMY
Sunday, February 18, 2007;
I feel worried about my furture with him, communicating is an problem to us too, sometimes i will vouce out whenever i don't agree with him on certain matter, i don't like he keep comparing my family and him, both sre important to mi, what he is doing is want mi to choose either one. Long ago we already say that even of new year got to wash his van, dye hair for him. But we did not fix the time and even i ask him the night bve4 that when i wanna go over i will call him n let him know. The whole morning i was helping out with mummy and ah ma. SO i intend to meet him ard 3 plus but he juz angry with the time that was too late. But to him if is too late, y cant he call and ask whether i wanna go over already. I admit i didn't tell him the time that i plan to go over. But y he muz say that "I know you are helping your mummy and the rest hands and legs are broken so you continue to be your good gal and help your mummy" I was really hurting that what i do was not becos no one helping out, as daughter i find that i had my need to help out even all of them are at home. So what! I help out means i side my family more than U??? Seriously told you be4 that i am more to family. Cos i cant get a really secure from you, I know that you dun earn much, you also try to get along with my family, as i had told you be4 that i'm family oriented person. You also try to go by my way. but if you decide to go by my way, PLS DON'T MENTION TO ME THAT YOU ALWAYS GO BY MY WAY THIS AND THAT" this make me feel that what you do was so unwilling and you always say that "As long as you are happy i"m ok with it" But i cant feel that you are happy with any decision i make. When we met some problem and you will just leak out something that you wasn't like it. What i do for you, even can make me go here and there i ok with it, as long as you feel good i'm ok with it, but till nw did you really help me out most of the time??? I ask you long ago to find out more about wedding matter since last year. I been planning, i even tell you that we will do buffet and soleminzation together, you agree with mi too. i din step more into was that you were ask to go for course and you told me to do it after your new sssigment hd decide. So after that i start to prepare all this, the flat matter come into my plan. Which problem start.....I'm more enxious than you.But thru i thinking of my wedding, whenever ask you how he wanna do, he will say later then discuss or no reply from you. You think i can wait without an answer from you.
truly uS
2:42 AMY
Sunday, February 04, 2007;
I juz a start for the year 2007....I find myself more and more useless, not as stable as before, my feeling sway easily, cant control my temper, get emotional more easily, find out that i do not have integrity.V.sad!! Cant do things as i want, find that i do not accomplished much things till now. So disappointed...not enough of self-discipline, self control....Who can teach me, how to do n what to do....Feel damn sian!! i going to step into another part of my life...as now i find that i'm not mature enough or i expect too much from myself that make me feel "myself useless"?? That make me feel worried...I worried i cant give out...I really worried too much about my future...I do not know how to control myself not to think so much, I worried i dun earn much to start a family, cant give my family happiness, after having a family, i afraid i cant give my mummy monthly expenses...I worried about my brother, my sister...i afraid my partner cant fulfil that how i want a family to be, that make me feel that i need to be more strong in order to have a stable family....On my God!!!!!
truly uS
12:26 AMY
Monday, January 22, 2007;
Each and everyday pass just like that , what have i done or achieve everyday, alot of things come across my mind....But where should i stop or move on? I don't know, Send me some courage please.... I don't to regret or suffer for the rest of my life. Am i too childish, think too much or calculative? I simply cant voice out the topic. I scare it will hurt either one, or things will be properly plan and i will not need to suffer. I really hope i can have a conslusion before i step into another kind of living.
truly uS
4:58 PMY
